


Small Steps

by CyrusBreeze



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Awkward Conversations, Friendship, Gen, LGBTQ Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 12:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17446889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyrusBreeze/pseuds/CyrusBreeze
Summary: Ben inhales slowly. “My sister wants me to come with her to pride,” he blurts.“You don’t want to go?” She asks. And it’s not accusing. It’s soft, questioning.Ben huffs. “It’s not that I don’t want to go,” he says. “I’m not homophobic or... transphobic or anything. It’s just that all this is new... and different.”Written for Day 4 of Station 19 Theme Week: Freelancing (Author's Choice)





	Small Steps

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda random and has no real plot beyond there being lots and lots of words and things. I kinda waffled with which character to have talk to Ben, but I feel like Vic and Ben have built up a rapport, and he's probably closer to Vic than to anyone else besides Travis. Plus, given what we've seen of family situations, Vic was easiest to give an LGBT sibling.
> 
> Anyway, I wrote this because we rarely ever get to see the family's perspective of their loved one transitioning. I love listening to the story of family members who struggled with acceptance and guilt. When I went to the gender infinity conference, I got to hear plenty of stories from family members and close friends. 
> 
> Being queer and trans myself, I love exploring narratives related to LGBT themes. (As you will see with my fic for Friday. *hint, hint*)

Ben sighs as he hangs up the phone. He’s trying, he really is, but connecting with his... sister is difficult. He feels like Rosalind lies to him, and she did lie for years. And frankly, Ben doesn’t understand how Miranda takes it so easily. It’s different, Ben thinks to grow up and realize that you don’t actually know your siblings at all, that you had a sister instead of a brother and now everything’s different. 

“You okay?” A voice says. 

Ben looks up. Vic is staring at him curiously. 

Ben sighs again. “I just got off the phone with my... sister,” he says. 

“Sibling trouble?” Vic presses. 

And Ben wants to spill everything. He wants to talk to someone about this and he doesn’t know how. He usually talks to Travis about things that bother him, but Ben doesn’t want to burden Travis with this, especially since it can so easily be taken the wrong way. It’s not that he has issues with the LGBT community, it’s just different finding out that your own sister lied to you for so long, and it’s even more painful to realize that they suffered and you didn’t recognize the signs. Ben grew up with Rosalind, shared a room, and he didn’t notice the level of pain that she was in. It feels… complicated.

He inhales slowly. “My sister wants me to come with her to pride,” he blurts. 

Vic turns to face him, her eyes flaring. 

For a moment, Ben is terrified that Vic is going to yell at him. He flinches back, and Vic’s face softens. 

“You don’t want to go?” She asks. And it’s not accusing. It’s soft, questioning. 

Ben huffs. “It’s not that I don’t want to go,” he says. “I’m not homophobic or... transphobic or anything. It’s just that all this is new... and different.” 

“Did your sister come out recently?” Vic presses. “Is that why you’re apprehensive about going?”

“She came out to me two years ago,” Ben says. “She’s, uh, transgender. “It’s hard now because I know that she was suffering growing up, and I never saw it. Everything feels different now. And I don’t know how to be around her, and I’m scared if I go I’m going to mess things up for good.” 

“I understand that,” Vic says. 

“Really?” Ben says. He arches an eyebrow skeptically. He doesn’t mean to be so dismissive, but he’s been sitting in his feelings for awhile now, and he’s yet to meet someone who understands.

“Maybe not completely,” Vic responds. “But my little brother is gay, and I only found that out after his _ex_ -boyfriend texted me. When I confronted him about it, he said that he was scared to tell me because he didn’t know how would react. He was my little brother. We literally told each other everything, always, and he kept the secret from me for nine years. It hurts. And I didn’t know how to be around him because I didn’t know how to talk to him about it.” 

Vic does get it, then. 

“I feel like everything is different,” Ben says. “I know that she’s still my sibling and that doesn’t change, but everything feels different.” 

“It is different,” Vic says. “Your sister found the courage to come out to you. It changes things, and you don’t have to pretend it doesn’t. She’s still the person you grew up with, but your entire relationship is going to shift as you guys learn how to act around each other again. Trust me, things were extremely awkward after Jace came out to me. For like the six months, we didn’t talk about it. And then one day, we sat down and just talked about it and about what we were feeling. And now, I tease him about his partners just as badly as he teases me about mine. It made things different, but we’re also better now that everything's out in the open. Your sister knows it’s complicated for you, but it’s probably way more complicated and stressful for her than for you.” 

“I just feel like I don’t know how to talk to her,” Ben replies. “And going to Pride is just going to prove how much I don’t get.” 

“You don’t have to be a walking encyclopedia of LGBT culture just to attend Pride,” Vic says. “Showing up goes a long way.”

Ben sighs. Vic is right. If he wants to improve his relationship with his sister, then he needs to start by taking small steps. 

“If you want,” Vic pipes up. “You can come to Pride with the Fire Department. It’s on one of our off days, and SFD usually does a truck if you want to ride or walk with us. I know Maya is going. Travis is skipping this year and I don’t know if anyone else from 19 is going as an ally, but it’ll be us and a couple of other firefighters from different stations. Maya and I can meet up with your sister after the parade, that way it’s not super awkward with just the two of you.” 

Ben smiles. This isn’t going t be easy, but he knows that this experience has to be ten times harder for his sister. The least he can do is attend an event that she invited him to. 

“I’d like that,” he says. 

He loves his sister and he wants to support her, and the only way he can do that is by starting with small steps.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, sorta random with no real plot but hey, it's Freelancing day. 
> 
> Please comment. They're better than sex


End file.
